Building the Garden Gate: A leadership lens on boundaries in schools

Kristi Kraychy, B.Mus., B.Ed., M.Ed. 

December 5, 2025

Lately I’ve been thinking about boundaries in education. Teachers tend to live at two extremes: no boundaries at all until we burn out or “barbwire boundaries” where our rigidity starts to shape the culture around us.

This morning I was reflecting on something I’d been working through with one of my team-members and this idea came to me:

Boundaries are the garden gate between empathy for others and empathy for ourselves.

A garden gate is intentional. It’s built for movement yet still signals a pause, a line that requires permission to cross. This is where many educators struggle. We open easily. We step into care for students, parents and colleagues without hesitation, but sustainable teaching doesn’t work well when we’re wide open all the time. It depends on a sturdy gate that’s visible and respected which prevents our empathy from getting over-plucked and trampled. However, reaching for the barbwire isn’t the answer, either.

We need boundaries that are clear, consistent and calm. This is where leadership matters. Not everyone arrives with the skills to navigate personal and professional boundaries while still serving in an empathy-driven profession.

Leaders play a role in modelling and explicitly teaching the difference between sustainable practice, too much self-sacrifice and problematic rigidity.

A few ways educational leaders can support this:

• Set school-wide expectations for when staff will, and will not, respond to emails and warmly communicate this to all employees and families. When suggestions become clear expectations, the workload becomes more equitable and the pressure to overextend softens.

• Model and name the difference between healthy initiative and self-sacrifice. It’s easy for teachers to slip into extremes. When we always step up, we sometimes block students, parents and colleagues from taking ownership of their own growth. Clear modelling helps staff recognize when they’re contributing in caring, sustainable ways and when they’re moving toward enabling, entitlement or burnout.

• Show, rather than say, your support for real disconnection over breaks and holidays. Skip the usual “enjoy and recharge”. Instead, build prep days with protected planning time after each break so teachers return ready for students without feeling like they have to sacrifice too much of their time off.

Boundaries aren’t barriers. They’re the “clear is kind” line Brené Brown describes. Boundaries allow us to invite others in while keeping our own side of the fence flourishing.